There is only one solid purpose for texting—exchanging information. Yet texting is the new method for men to flirt, ask women out, sometimes propose and even break-up. This is gutless. Unfortunately, a new USA TODAY survey of 1,500 daters, ages 21-50, indicates that texting is rapidly replacing the art of communication. Among the findings:
- Roughly 1/3 of men and women agree that it’s less intimidating to ask for a date via text vs. a phone call.
- 1 out of 4 feel that one hour is the appropriate response time for a text to someone you are dating; 1 in 10 expect a response instantly.
- 44% of men say mobile devices make it easier to flirt; 37% of women agree.
- A Nielsen report shows that the average number of texts per person sent/received each month in the USA was 764 in 2012, versus 165 mobile calls per month.
I feel that one of the main reasons that many people prefer nonverbal communications is because they have a fear of intimacy. They can hide behind their PDA and consider how they will react, respond, or reject without intimacy. Unfortunately, this leads to potential passive aggressive behavior, because they are assuming the meaning of cryptic responses. So, although it’s easy to text, “Hey, I’m hanging out at Joe’s bar. Wanna drop by?” seems like a non-risky way to ask a girl out, how the male interprets:
- I’m busy tonight.
- Can’t make it.
- Sounds like fun.
- I’ll be there.
The number of text messages per month are five times that of cell phone calls because one cryptic message turns into a diatribe of back-and-forth unproductive communication trying to understand what the other person meant.
Recently, Russell Brand asked his wife, Katy Perry, for a divorce via text. The same USA Today survey found that 59% of respondents would like to break up with a causal relationship via text, and 24% would end an exclusive relationship this way. Really? Has the value of a human being drooped to such a low?
Let’s revisit the Golden Rule: “Do unto others, as they would do unto you.”
If you seek to be valued by others, you need to engage in conversation with them, with high hopes that a friendship will evolve. They matter, and therefore, you will too. Treat them like a digital, one-dimensional relationship, and don’t be surprised if you find yourself perceived with less value too.
Nothing great ever came without work. Therefore, work on developing meaningful relationships, and you will certainly have many.