DATING FOR LIFE REINVENTIONS

reinventValentine’s Day should be chivalry’s equivalent to New Year’s Day. Nearly everyone follows or avoids the tradition of setting New Year’s Eve goals because, well, that’s just what people do.  When it comes to romance and friendship, consider Valentine’s Day as your “reset the clock” for relationships. Perhaps this is an opportunity to not only buy your “significant other” a card and roses, but perhaps set some resolutions for romance. Perhaps you can do something special for others in your inner circle as well. Dating for Life can give you some insights on how to make every day moving forward a great date.

In my past blog, I suggested that most New Year’s resolutions fail because the current pattern isn’t broken, it is unlikely that the resolution will be achieved. The triggers that prompt an individual’s current behavior need to be scrutinized, changed, or disabled so that this person can change enough to achieve the goal permanently.  Reinvention is required, not just resolutions.

Every step taken in life is either a step toward good, or a step toward evil.  Equate this statement to climbing up a mountain.  Now and then you may slip or fall if the pathway is steep or hard to navigate. But you can only climb any mountain one step at a time. When it comes to any relationship, especially a romantic one, it is also built one step at a time. Anything you do for someone else on a daily basis either helps build or destroy that relationship. Chivalry should be as active in your life as dining, because it feeds the soul.

As this Valentine’s Day approaches, I suggest that you make a resolution for all of your special relationships: significant other, parent, child, friend, or colleague.  Ask yourself, what can I do on a consistent basis to strengthen this bond? But just like a New Year’s resolution, your goal will not be met unless you reinvent yourself to make it happen. Consider what you want to accomplish and design a strategy on how you should live your life to become the vision you desire. Your New Year’s resolutions will quickly fade, but a New Year’s reinvention could last a lifetime. And for Valentine’s Day, what you do for others on a continuing basis could build connections as strong and tall as the highest mountains.

 

ARE YOU BETTER OFF SETTING NEW YEAR’S REINVENTIONS?

pastFutureSo, how many of you out there have already broken every one of your New Year’s resolutions?  My guess is that if you haven’t broken them, you may already be on a slippery slope of a broken promise.  As there are millions of resolutions floating about in the ether of hope, there are also millions of ways for these solemn vows to be dashed as well.  But regardless of your specific resolution(s), here’s an idea that will apply to all:  pursue New Year’s Eve reinventions rather than resolutions.

First of all, a resolution is usually fairly black and white.  For example, “I resolve to stop swearing.” (I do, dammit!) But if have established a pattern of swearing for whatever reason, unless that pattern is broken, it is unlikely that my resolve will be achieved. Therefore, what is the trigger that prompts swearing, and what is the methodology to permanently disable that trigger?  Thus enters in reinvention.

A former minister of mine suggested that every step taken in life is either a step toward good, or a step toward evil.  Equate this statement to climbing up a mountain.  Now and then you may slip or fall if the pathway is steep or hard to navigate. But you can only climb any mountain one step at a time. I like this concept, because anything worth achieving normally takes a commitment to the process.  Einstein didn’t wake up one morning and invent the Theory of Relativity. And John Wayne Gacy didn’t just decided to commit heinous crimes.  There was a long pathway that led him there.

One more piece of advice:  don’t set goals that are a one-time finish line.  For example, when a person vows to “lose ten pounds by the end of the year,” what is the motivation to keep them off the following year? A reinvention goal would be more likely to be to modify a lifestyle habit and establish the methodology to do so.  Losing the weight is only one metric to monitor the process.

Consider what you want to accomplish and design a strategy on how you should live your life to become the vision you desire. Your New Year’s resolutions will quickly fade, but a New Year’s reinvention could last a lifetime.