LOVE & TECHNOLOGY

holding a glowing earth globe in his handsSociety has been evolving since mankind evolved from monkeys.  However, it’s the rate of evolution that is staggering.  Intel co-founder Gordon E. Moore, wrote a 1965 paper that predicted that the number of transistors on integrated circuits doubles approximately every two years. Moore’s Law is now applied to processing speed, computer memory capacity, sensors and even the number and size of pixels in digital cameras. I suggest that you can apply it to the rate of change in our evolving society. The advent of the internet radically changed the way we communicate.  Smartphones have radically changed the way we live.

Accordingly, this fast changing technology is accelerating the evolution of relationships. It is breaking down barriers because information and the ability to quickly learn anywhere in the world is changing societies. A few facts to illustrate my point, coursey of a Research Now survey of more than 5,000 singles for Match.com:

  1. In the singles market, 86% are fine with interracial marriage
  2. 80% are fine with interfaith marriage
  3. 76% are fine with long-term live-in partners
  4. 65% are fine with same-sex marriage
  5. 53% are fine with having children outside marriage.
  6. 78% are not fine with sexually open marriages
  7. 62% are not fine with long-distance marriages
  8. 20% say having sex on a first date is OK; 80% disagree.
  9. 40% of women and 48% of men say that they have sent a sexually explicit text message; 36% of women and 35% of men have sent a sexy photo.
  10. 31% say that they have converted a one-night stand into a relationship
  11. 28% have had “friends with benefits” turn into a commitment

Imagine these statistics in the 1800’s.  1900’s. Even in the early 2000’s. Admittedly, the survey audience of Match.com is somewhat skewed versus the rest of the world, but it represents trends that are certainly forthcoming.

But LOVE isn’t a technology.  LOVE is a precious flower that needs to be nurtured to be grown.  LOVE isn’t a technology. It will forever be “unplugged”.  Like anything organic, it can certainly be enhanced or destroyed by the misapplication of technology.

How will you utilize technology with regards to LOVE moving forward?

 

KILLER APPS: AN OVERLOAD OF “LIKES” DON’T MAKE A LOVE

The words Killer Apps on an app tile in a wall of applications aIn your 24/7 connectivity, are you still feeling the love? Our culture reminds us that friendships last forever, but not always love. But as your friend circles get wider and deeper, are you undermining your romantic relationships? Charlotte Alter, in her February 24, 2014 TIME Magazine article, suggests that in the pursuit of honoring friendships, love can get kicked to the curb. With regard to social media and romance, killer apps could indeed be killing love.

There is another Millennial trend that platonic relationships will turn into romantic ones. However, falling for a friend is not necessarily the same thing as love at first sight. True, the likelihood of one person truly knowing another after years of friendship are stronger than the relationship formed through formal dating. However, familiarity can also breed contempt. What are the expectations of each individual when they were merely friends, and how did those expectations change when they committed to a romantic relationship. Even more complicated, how do friends with benefits morph the act of sexual intercourse for fun (copulating) into a physical act of love? To me, this would be delicate at best if not entirely awkward.

Social media has complicated romance for sure. Smartphone apps just add to the confusion. Tinder is more-or-less a hook-up app, where all members can purvey the customers in any public space, normally a bar, and determine who they would be attracted to and who they wouldn’t. This way, rather than having to decipher who’s available in the bar, the app clears the way. Grouper and the Dating Ring introduce singles by setting up group dates that mimic casual outings. Interestingly, a USA Today found that 57% of 18-24 year olds couldn’t tell whether they were on a date or just “hanging out.” Many single men and women text photos of a possible romantic interest, seeking approval before moving forward. Really? Group consensus has reached a new low.

In this crazy world of romance, it is important to remember that LIKE is not LOVE. Sex is not Love Making. And Relationships are not Romance. The only tried and true way to develop and maintain a true romance is to be romantic. There is no substitute. Developing a relationship based upon love, affection, trust, respect, and consideration will lead to true happiness. Friendship within that relationship is a true by-product. “Friends with benefits” is hollow and shallow; Dating for Life is chivalry and romance forever.

DATING FOR LIFE VERSUS ROUTINES

Same Old Sign.Let me guess.  Every morning you get up and for the first 30 minutes, you routine is pure Pavlov’s Dog.  In terms of getting ready for your day, it’s more efficient to prepare for the day in the same way.  Why reinvent the wheel, as they say.

Now you’re entering your daily activities, most likely work or parental responsibilities, which is surely also a form a work.  Your commute to work takes the same route, unless the traffic reports on the radio suggest otherwise. You grab a coffee and/or breakfast en route, and finally settle into your day, perhaps at a desk, retail store, construction etc.  If you are at a desk, there are important e-mails to read, phone calls to make, meetings to attend.  Breaks are normally mid-morning, lunch and mid-afternoon.  Then, finally, you’re done! You can leave work and go back home to…run errands, eat dinner, watch television etc.

If your life is anything close to this kind of routine, imagine how easy it can be to treat your relationships in routine ways. I don’t have to tell you that routines create ruts.  Chivalry actually doesn’t die, it slowly lapses into a coma. But if love makes the world go around, Dating for Life keeps it spinning. The four keys to “dating” anyone for any aspect of life (romance, friendship, business colleague, neighbor) will break the routines that lead to relationship ruts.

Now that Valentine’s Day is over for 2014, don’t think that you’re off the hook for chivalry until next year. One day of resurrecting any relationship doesn’t repair 364 days of taking it for granted.

In my next few blogs, I will give you several simple ideas that will break the monotony and open the door to spontaneity in friendship, love and romance.  Stay tuned.

Somewhat a "black & white" comment, but still very thought provoki…

Somewhat a "black & white" comment, but still very thought provoking!

Reshared post from +WikiLeaks Unofficial

#wikileaks #politics  

VALENTINES DAY & THE HOLY GRAIL

vday

Let’s compare LOVE to the HOLY GRAIL. I researched this subject, and found that “grail” from an Old French word, “grail” or “greal,” related with Old Provençal “grazal” and Old Catalan “gresal”, meaning “a cup or bowl of earth, wood, or metal.”  Ah, but the “Holy Grail” is another matter.  Going back more than ten centuries it has been described as the “Holy Chalice” that was the cup passed around the Last Supper.  The mythical King Arthur pursued it. So did Indiana Jones and the Month Python crew. In Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code, the author even describes it as the womb of Mary Magdalene. In any story, the Holy Grail carries awesome powers to change the world. The search of the Holy Grail is a noble quest for any brave soul, and almost always, the quest changes the pursuer’s life.  Often these quests become legendary.

Now let’s look at love. Is love real?  Is it mythical?  Everyone is looking for love. To some it’s a lifelong journey, one that takes on legendary if not noble proportions.  Singer Johnny Lee became famous “Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places.” But, like the Holy Grail, is LOVE something that you can ever possess?  When you find love, then what do you do with it?  Why is there no other word that can completely describe LOVE?

Corinthians 13:4-8 spends a paragraph describing LOVE which is why this verse is read in more wedding ceremonies than any other, yet it doesn’t completely describe LOVE.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”

I suggest to you that LOVE and THE HOLY GRAIL are very similar.  In any relationship, but especially in a romantic relationship, you can never “own” LOVE, any more than you can own an individual. It is the noble pursuit of building a relationship that LOVE will bloom. Like a flower, water it, nourish it, and it will flourish. Take it for granted and ignore it, and it will quickly die.  And like the Holy Grail, we all drink from the same chalice. Sharing LOVE is what makes the world go around.

On this Valentine’s Day, don’t treat the day as an obligatory ritual to honor the one you love once a year.  Instead, use this day as a springboard to engage in the noble pursuit of a perfect love with your partner. Every day is a gift; Dating for Life will ensure that you never alter what gets you to the altar.