HOLIDATING PART THREE

holidatingthreeYour holiday dating is your platform for kicking off the New Year.  This will be my final blog for 2014, and I would like to take this opportunity to thank each of you for your nice comments and input.  As you approach 2015, here are a few suggestions for your New Year’s resolutions:

  1. If you are single, stop looking for Mr. Right. You will find yourself only dating Mr. Wrong, with the net result being an unsuccessful date.  Remember, you can’t make love happen. No perfume/cologne or fancy words can induce love. Corny lines can repel it. But engaging with anyone on a date can set-up the right circumstances for a solid friendship and maybe love. As long as you follow the four keys to Dating for Life, you truly can’t have a bad date.
  2. If you are married, never alter what got you to the altar. Chivalry should never atrophy to the point where each day with your partner is mundane. Spice up your life and your romance by a series of little gestures. Love isn’t static, it’s dynamic.  Affection and consideration will keep your love spiraling upward; apathy brings it down. Make 2015 your biggest year ever for having fun with the one you love.
  3. It’s not about the how or who, but the why. “Who did this?” is the blame game. “How did this happen” is a logistical question.  Explore “Why is this happening” to solve any problems.  Almost all arguments are centered on either miscommunication or misinformation. Deeper problems stem from mis-considerations. Find out why you or your partner have a bump in the road. You’ll smooth it out must quicker by addressing why there is a problem and be accountable for your actions.  Remember, LOVE is patient, love is kind…
  4. Although LOVE is the greatest of all, FAITH and HOPE aren’t far behind. The greatest foundation to a relationship is FAITH (including Trust). Be trustworthy above all to preserve your integrity and you relationship. But HOPE (i.e. positive mental attitude, excitement, forward thinking etc.) is what carries you forward in life. Remember the past, but don’t hang on to it. Thorough enjoy the present, it’s a gift. But as you near 2015, think about the promise of the future and keep Dating for Life with your friends, family, colleagues, and maybe even your true love. You’ll be living in JOY, and you may find that 2015 will be your best year ever.  JOYFUL holidays to you all.

 

HOLIDATING PART TWO

HOLIDATING PART TWOWhat is the true meaning of Christmas?  Certainly it is the season for giving. But perhaps a more powerful meaning, it is the season forgiving. The greatest gift you can give is to forgive anyone and everyone. The birth of a babe in a manager signifies that we all enter this world free of sin and worry. Forgiving others gives them the chance to start over.  More importantly, it releases you from carrying any baggage. The only things you should carry over the holidays (or anytime) are presents. Hanging onto the past will prevent you from moving forward into the future, which is another reason to continuously be “in the present.” Family and friends can come together in this season of mirth by engaging in JOY, or by EN-JOYing themselves. It’s easy to ENJOY.  Dating for Life is all about giving and JOY.  Take someone, anyone, out on a date and make sure that you and your date are participating in something of mutual interest.  Then, simply be in the moment, go out and have a good time.  It’s that easy.  The Greek origin of dating is “to give.” This year give JOY and companionship to those whom are close to you and folks you need to forgive.  It’s the greatest gift you can give, which of course if LOVE.

 

HOLIDATING PART ONE

grinchWhy is it that some people succumb to the holiday blues? Often, folks who are lonely often avoid social interactions over the holidays, yet withdrawing can increase feelings of loneliness. They may see others spending time with family or friends and wonder, “Why can’t that be me?” The truth is, it can!

Why do singles without any “significant other” stop dating around the holidays? Typical answers are “it’s awkward.”  The truth is, it can be IF your concept of dating is “finding the one.” Incidentally, the same holds true just before Valentine’s Day.

The word, “dating” is derived from the Greek term didonal, which means “to give.”

Christmas and Hanukkah are times for giving, not taking. Rethink what it means to date. Stop looking for “the one.” Take people out who are friends, colleagues, friends and family and show them a good time, whether it be a walk in the park or a fancy event. Even more importantly, reach out to people in need in ways that help you engage with the world. This could mean donating money to street people; giving Starbucks cards to service workers in your life; volunteering at a shelter.  Ironically, the more you give, the more you will receive. Joy is not a something for hermits; it can only be shared. Even the Grinch came to that realization before it was too late!

And, in going out with joy, focus on having a good time utilizing the principles of Dating for Life. Who knows, you may bolster a new friendship or even meet someone to spend a lifetime with.

FIFTY WAYS TO PLEASE YOUR LOVER—PART TEN

“And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right

There must be fifty ways to please your lover”

I admit it. Paul Simon’s song was written about infidelity.  However my twist would therefore have to be about fidelity. Any great relationship is built on trust and loyalty, but Dating for Life can preserve the zest even for the best relationships.

46)  Romance is very underrated. Remember to say “I love you” each and every day. When it comes to affection, err on the side of abundance.

47)  Chivalry should never die. Acts of kindness and thoughtfulness are always appreciated. It’s not about doing what you were asked to do; it’s about doing the unexpected in unexpectedly nice ways.

48)  Never alter what gets you to the altar. That zest for going out will atrophy if you don’t exercise it.

49)  Go to bed at peace and wake up happy. You live your life, and your significant other lives his or hers. It’s how you dovetail in between that matters.

50)  Frankly, there are infinite ways to please your lover. Love is infinite, so the possibilities are endless if you are open to Dating for Life.