V-DAY REVISITED

V-DAY REVISITEDIt’s going to be an invasion. You don’t know where the beachhead will occur, but you are destined to be taken over. The messages have been sent but are encrypted. V-Day is underway. It’s not a violent overthrow. You’re not a bad person, nor is the invader.  The net result of this invasion is hopefully a major shift for the positive:  a change of heart. Be receptive to opportunities to make new acquaintances, bolster friendships, familial bonds or the possible love of your life.  As the Lord says, Thy will, not My will.

Valentine’s Day isn’t intended to be strictly for lovers.  Do you remember the days in grade school when you gave the kids in your class candy hearts?  You also gave your teacher a candy heart. Why should it be different when you mature and grow older?  If you instead grow wiser, you may, in fact, learn from your children. Similar to Santa Claus, Valentine’s Day is a spirit, and similarly it is the spirit of giving.

The REAL story behind Valentine’s Day?  It’s just another day in the calendar of life. What you do with it is up to you.  So HOW do you want to live this day?  In joy or sadness?  (Trick question—HAVE FUN with Dating for Life.)

THE REAL STORY BEHIND VALENTINE’S DAY

valentineI wrote this article in January, 2013. Of course it’s timeless. Read it but then read the bottom line at the end for the “real story behind Valentine’s Day.

St. Valentine’s Day began as a liturgical celebration of an early Christian saint named Valentinus. According to martyr-ology he was imprisoned for performing weddings for soldiers who were forbidden to marry and for ministering to Christians, who were persecuted under the Roman Empire. During his imprisonment, he purportedly healed the daughter of his jailer Asterius. Before his execution he wrote “from your Valentine” as a farewell to her.

Fast forward to Joyce Clyde Hall, owner of a family store, who changed his business model in 1906 to wholesaling postcards. As time went on, he became convinced that greeting cards would become more prominent than postcards, as they represented class, promised discretion and were an emerging social custom. By 1915, the company was known as Hall Brothers and sold Valentine’s Day and Christmas cards. You guessed it—they changed their name shortly afterward to be Hallmark Cards.

Valentinus was put to death for his chivalry. Thankfully, it doesn’t work that way today. But since there are 107 million singles in America, and approximately one-half of them haven’t had a date in two years, is it any wonder that Valentine’s Day also marks the end of National Heartbreak Season?  It doesn’t have to be this way. Separate romance from dating, and focus on going out and having a good time. Don’t seek to find a relationship; seek to find someone to do things with.  Life is about living.

The REAL story behind Valentine’s Day?  It’s just another day in the calendar of life. What you do with it is up to you.  So HOW do you want to live this day?  In joy or sadness?  (Trick question—HAVE FUN with Dating for Life.)

SIX TIPS TO HAPPINESS

happyexitIt is the second week of January, 2015.  Are you any happier than you were last year? Here are suggestions for any scenario:

  1. Are you recently single for any variety of reasons?  Then celebrate the new opportunity that lies ahead for you and take the high road.
  2. Are you recently in a relationship for any variety of reasons?  Then celebrate the new opportunity that lies ahead for you and take the high road.
  3. Are you entering a new phase of employment/unemployment for any variety of reasons?  Then celebrate the new opportunity that lies ahead for you and take the high road.
  4. Are you still in a career or relationship that is no longer as exciting for you as it once was?  Then celebrate what is good about it but also consider how you can make things better.
  5. Are you alone? Then celebrate what you like about being alone, but take the high road with yourself and consider the opportunities that abound to change whatever scenario you are presently in.
  6. Are you in poor health?  Again, focus on what can be done, and be grateful for the blessings that you have.

If you are chagrinned because my tips are generalizing, trite, or simplified, read them again. You have a choice in each situation you face in life: acknowledge or resist. The definition of “resist” means to “fight or struggle” which means to waste your energy and spirit. To “acknowledge” means to “recognize or admit” which is the beginning of change. Ignorance is not bliss; it is ignorance. Forgiveness is divine. And Grace is the ability to move forward with no baggage and devote your time to the pursuit of happiness. Although each scenario may be complicated, the answer is relatively simple if you truly desire to be happy.

FOUR TIPS TO ENSURE A SUCCESSFUL NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION

FOUR TIPS TO ENSUREIt is the first week of January, 2015.  Did you make any resolutions? Here’s why I believe you should.

  1. Making resolutions forces you to reflect on your life and think about the one thing you should improve moving forward. If you consider how you conduct your life to be perfect, then you aren’t evolving. Staying even in a dynamic world is the same thing as sliding backwards.
  2. A resolution should be meaningful. A trite resolution, such as, “I will not eat Cheetos” is a non-resolution, because you can easily eat Doritos and accomplish nothing in the process. Make a resolution that makes a difference.
  3. Any resolution or goal should be measurable. For example, if your goal is to raise your income in a commission job, you should know your metrics. What is the average sale value? How many cold calls to make a sale? How many leads should you pursue per day/week/month? If your goal is to lose twenty-four pounds in the year (for noble reasons such as reducing your blood pressure) then you need to lose two pounds per month, or one-half pound per week. You can’t starve yourself and lose twenty-four pounds in the month of December.  Inspect what you expect.
  4. Reward yourself for attaining goals and resolutions. You deserve it. But close the loop at the end of the goal cycle as to why or why not you didn’t honor your resolution. Continuous improvement is self-awareness.

Dating for Life is also about continuous improvement. Continually ask yourself how you can better interact with people and you’ll be amazed at how your relationships with family, friends, colleagues, or even the love of your life will evolve for the better.