Now that spring is in the air, any single red-blooded American (and European and Asian) man turns his thoughts towards sports and romance, not necessarily in that order.  The usual line of thinking is, “I need to find a partner to do things with throughout the spring and summer.”  Yes, it’s a couples-driven world to a great extent.  Some activities are better spent with in the company of another. But does this mean that you have to find “the one” for all of these activities? The two goals: doing things together and finding “the one” are separate quests altogether. Don’t confuse them.

First of all, you can’t make the magic happen. Contrary to advertising, there is no cologne that you can wear that will make someone fall in love with you. According to GrabStats.com, the odds of a barstool date working out are 2%.  The odds of a family or friend fix-up are 17%. I would wager that if you set an expectation that every date you go on will be “the one” your odds on having a good time will be near zero.  Why?  It’s because you’re bound to be disappointed sooner than later, and that disappointment will get in the way of having a good time on your date.

Secondly, you’re goal is to have a good time doing things in the spring and summer. The solution—find dates that are open to doing the same things that you want to do.  There are many ways. 1) HowaboutWe.com has activity-driven matches for groups that are into the same activities. Also, there is probably a MeetUp group near you where people also partake in group outings for concerts, sports etc. 2) Use an Internet dating service to sort through dating candidates that meet your criteria—age, lifestyle, likes/dislikes, religion, career etc.  Fact: people with an Internet connection were much more likely to be in a relationship (72%) than those without (36%).

True story:  my best friend is on Match.com and he regularly takes the profile of what a potential date is looking for and rewrites it so that he appears that he is the “perfect” date. He does it to be funny. Half the women realize that he’s poking fun and laugh back. The other half have apparently completely forgotten what they wrote, and reply gushingly that he could be “the one.” Mind you he hasn’t met them yet. Trust me, you’re better off finding someone to enjoy doing the things you want to do this spring and summer.  Set your dates up for success by finding someone that wants to do the same things you want to do so you both have fun. And should the magic happen, and then hopefully you’ll have an “endless summer” of Dating for Life.


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