FIFTY WAYS TO PLEASE YOUR LOVER—PART NINE

partnine“She said, “Why don’t we both just sleep on it tonight

I believe in the morning you’ll begin to see the light.

And then she kissed me, and I realized she probably was right…”

Never go to bed angry, the age-old axiom, but it’s easier said than done. Do you argue throughout the night? No. Do you suddenly shut down a frenzy and calmly say, “We’ll continue this discussion in the morning?” No way. But what do you do? Here are some suggestions on how to wrap you your day blissfully:

41)  Never begin a serious discussion at the end of the day. If you are wise enough to know that the topic will be heated, you may not want to bring it up over dinner, if the debate/conversation could last for hours.

42)  Agree to discuss segments of the entire issue. Broad topics such as a major job change and relocation, investing in a new home, or raising a child require broad discussions. You shouldn’t gloss over the entire subject and compress it into a one-hour discussion, so why not segment the discussion almost in outline form?  Agree to stay on point for each meeting.

43)  Despite the potential for high emotions, stay on point. If additional considerations arise in the conversation, then agree to have another discussion time for those specific considerations, but stay on point.

44)  Enter each discussion with a clean slate. Don’t bring dirty laundry into the meeting or an attitude of stirring the waters. The goal is to solve problems, not to create them.

45)  Feel good about small agreements and mutually beneficial concessions. Life is imperfect. If you and your partner can find common ground on fifty percent of your singular subject of discussion (in an on-going series of conversations to solve a major issue such as child rearing) then you have a victory for the day.  Celebrate it in some way and go to bed content. There’s a reason why you have your children say their prayers of thanks before bedtime. Why don’t you? Before your slip into slumber, whisper in your partner’s ear and express gratitude that you worked well together as partners in Dating for Life.

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