beatwoman“The problem is all inside your head, she said to me…”

The first line of Paul Simon’s great song sometimes says it all. Human beings are notorious at making mountains out of molehills. It doesn’t matter if your date will be mundane or majestic (and expensive.) You can have a fabulous time walking in the park and a bad time at an expensive opera—it truly depends on where you and your date’s mindsets are. Setting low expectations but high hopes leaves you open to experience something new and rewarding, regardless if your date is a flop, fun, or fantastic.  Dating for Life is about enjoying the day, and enjoying the date. Here are the second five of fifty pointers on how you can make things special in your ANY relationship.

6) Begin by being the good guy. You gain the respect of another by exhibiting chivalry. Courtesy and politeness are vastly underrated.  This doesn’t compromise your “cool.” Just as you can’t make someone love you, neither can you put on your “cool.” Act naturally, but be a good guy. The rest will follow.

7) Focus more on learning about the other. Your life is secondary for the moment. The Golden Rule applies in all aspects of dating:  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you do all the talking, and most of it is about you, ask yourself, would you appreciate this if the other person did that to you?

8) Be a planner.  The worst thing is to “hang out” or invite someone out and the day of the event just “show up” and say “whassup?”  Would you do this for a job interview?  I don’t think so.

9)  Be fun because that’s the way to go through life anyway.  Think about it—every day is a gift.  Enjoy your date with life whomever you are with.

10) Never set yourself up to be passive aggressive.  What do I mean?  Those with deep memories sometimes conjure up the past and screw up the present. Don’t keep tabs on what your date does and doesn’t do right. Be in the moment and ENJOY your day regardless.  You can always review after the fact whether the experience was worth another date, but at least you didn’t screw up the time you spent together.  Trust me—time is prescious.

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