fiftyways“The problem is all inside your head, she said to me.
The answer is easy if you take it logically.
I’d like to help you in your struggle how to please
There must be fifty ways to please your lover.”

Enough has been written about how to leave your lover. I prefer to write about how to please your lover. Done right, love is an endless highway. Done wrong, it can go careening off the road. Dating for Life isn’t about putting a romance on cruise control, but carefully navigating each and every peak and valley, twist and turn, and even making a smooth ride down a long straightaway pleasurable. Here are the first five of fifty pointers on how you can make things special in your special relationship.

1)    Whether you’ve known your date for forty minutes or forty years, remember that you can enjoy yourselves whether you go for a walk in the park, or go to Park Avenue. The Greek original of the word “Date” is didonal, which means “to give.” When you invite anyone out, it behooves you to make sure you try to show that person a good time.

2)    If you want your date to have a good time, choose an activity of mutual interest. Picking activities that only you like to do assures that you’re not going to like the relationship that evolves.

3)    Be diplomatically honest with your date. Holding back with the truth sets yourself up to be passive aggressive down the road on the same issue. But lack of tact in telling the truth guarantees either an argument or a short-lived relationship.

4)    Set low expectations but high hopes for every date. You’re bound to be pleasantly surprised with the results. Never set a standard for a date or for a partner that is so high that your date can only “break even” against your expectations. You don’t want to lead a life filled with disappointments.

5)    Be open to learn and grow. If you are on a first date, and you chose an activity that you and your date want to do, with low expectations, then enjoy yourself and see what you can learn from the other. God gave you two ears and one mouth, so listen and learn from your date. Lifelong couples will tell you that they never cease to be pleasantly surprised by what they learn from each other.

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