I just wrote a blog to guys that stressed that they need to forget bringing on their “A” game and getting their “grove on” but instead focus on quality relationships by getting their “good on.”

Contrary to popular belief, the good guys always finish first, and in your hearts you know this too. Girls that say they like “bad boys” are really saying that they like a guy who is playful. There’s an old joke about the farmer that sees a frozen rattlesnake by his creek in the dead of winter. Feeling sorry for the snake, he picks up the snake and brings him into his home and thaws the snake by the fire. The snake is saved, and thanks the farmer, then proceeds to bite him. The farmer is shocked. “After all I did for you, how could you bite me?” The snake responded, “You forget that I’m a snake.”

Here are some statistics on relationships that you should know:

  1. The likelihood of barstool relationships surviving is 2%. Read the tea leaves.
  2. Robert Daynes of Stanford Law School did a study that concludes that 10% of all divorces are a result of pornography. Moral of the story? Morales.
  3. The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention surveyed 22,000 men and women about marriage and divorce, and how to make a good marriage. The results: contrary to popular opinion, cohabitation doesn’t carry increased divorce risk. Why? Because you truly get to know your partner before the plunge.

What’s my message here?  As spring-fling season is upon us, the key to finding someone to spend an “endless summer” with lies in finding a truly good partner. Dating and mating is certainly a “game” but don’t play games with emotions in true human beings. Being hard to get isn’t all that bad, because since the days of Cro-Magnons men are wired to chase and women are taught to be caught. But the most important skill that you can develop in finding a good partner is to learn to receive.

Receiving means appreciating the individual who’s attempting to connect with you. The “player” who has all the lines is hunting for action, not love. Listen through the noise and hear what’s truly being said and look for the integrity of who is saying it. When someone makes absolutely no effort in the first few dates, read the tea leaves. Don’t fall for the guy that texts you to meet him in some bar and “hang out.” Remember, the man chases the woman until she finally catches him.

In any relationship, romance or friendship, appreciating someone for who that person is and what they are trying to do for you is the key to forming a sustainable relationship. Learn how to receive those that make an effort to be friends and then reciprocate with grace, and you’ll have some truly quality friendships and possibly the love of your life.

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