Ever meet somebody single, male or female, who simply must be in a relationship? How ever traumatic the last breakup was, the amount of time devoted to mourning the loss is a matter of days, maybe weeks, but certainly not months. What is the compelling reason for such a quick rebound? Could it be that these individuals desperately need to feel loved? Equally curious, could it be that these individuals also need to be in love?
There may be other reasons a person jumps back on the saddle so quickly. Perhaps the right person did, in fact, come along right after a breakup, but I would always caution anyone that the odds are strong that this is a “rebound relationship” stimulated by the need to be with someone, anyone, and not necessarily the right one. The only way to verify if this is true is to hold back from any serious dating for months, as time truly heals most wounds, and it will take time for any suddenly single person to be “whole” again and truly capable of contributing to a relationship in a positive way.
Here’s a better idea. If you are one of those individuals who need to feel love (who doesn’t?) then I suggest you devote yourself to your job. Yes, I mean the place where you work. Think about it for a moment. Where do you spend the majority of your time nearly every day? Unless you’re unemployed, you know the answer.
“But how,” you say, “am I going to feel love in the workplace?” This is a deceivingly simple answer. “The love you take is equal to the love you make.” (Thank-you John Lennon and Paul McCartney.) Just like any relationship, you will get more out of it if you put more into it. “Not in my job, you say.” Really? Let me give you some examples:
- Clerical work: Picture in your memory someone who really made a lasting, favorable impression on you that perhaps worked as a bank teller, a government agency staffer, or perhaps an accounting office. Why did they make a difference? Because they were happy and their joy rubbed off on you. They cared, and therefore they made a difference. Chances are you appreciated it and responded favorably.
- Service industry: Again, was there a particular worker in a restaurant, a bar, a tour guide, or beauty salon that made a difference? It was because of your positive experience. And what was your reaction? My guess is that you were grateful.
- Sales: Was there someone in any kind of sales position (regardless of the product) that truly cared about what they were selling, and their passion and product knowledge came streaming through in their presentation to you? Chances are you wanted to do business with that person and would do so again.
In each example above, the people that were the most effective in their jobs were the ones that truly cared about what they did, and how they interacted with their colleagues and customers. What you must realize is that those same people are also the most satisfied with their jobs and probably their lives. Why? Because the love they take is equal to the love they make.” The joy that they bring to the people around them is reflected back to them, thus making their day fulfilling.
One more thing: think about the individual who drudges through a ten-hour workday and then goes home to his or her significant other. What kind of mood are you bringing home? Chances are you are complaining and unloading on your partner. And if you are single, it’s likely that you’re not going to bring much positive energy to a new relationship, nor be that appealing if your attitude from work should carry over.
My suggestion to anyone and everyone: when you get up on Monday morning, think about your fellow workers and clients and how important your relationship is with each of them. Make a difference in the workplace and you will begin to feel love that will spiral in crescendo. After a while, you won’t want to live any other way.