NYE DFLEveryone makes fun of New Year’s Resolutions, probably because they are rarely kept.  But think what a powerful opportunity you have to truly become a different person in some aspect, or to achieve a noteworthy goal. Let’s think about relationships—one that you’re currently in, or establishing a relationship with someone you may not have even met yet.  For you to change, first you have to reflect on the past year or more and ask yourself what you could have done differently in a given situation. Although there are always two sides to every story, the change you find you need is related to your ability (or inability) to connect with another individual at some level.

In my book, Dating for Life, any relationship you establish or grow, whether romantic, friendship, or family-based, boils down to learning how to “date” and why it matters to “never stop dating.”  Although Dating for Life is a methodology for living life and has chapters devoted to individuals in all walks of life, the one constant is to apply chivalry to those you encounter.

As 2014 approaches, think about someone whom you would like to get to know better.  Reach out to this person and invite them out.  Find an activity that you both would like to do; set no expectations other than to have a nice time; learn and grow; and always express gratitude.  I guarantee you will have one good “date.” For the second date, repeat my instructions for the first date. Get the point?

I hope you had a fulfilling 2013, and that 2014 will be wonderful as well. With few exceptions, you have the power to make this happen.


textI find it interesting that with all of the development of “Love Apps”, technology that makes it easier to find a date, it seems harder than ever for people to fall in love. Although men seem to be having “their cake and eating it” in major metropolitan areas, there is a backlash developing.  Here’s why:

  1. Texting has digitized the emotionality of asking someone out for a date, thus depersonalizing romance.  According to a study, 50 percent of guys reach out within 24 hours of a date by confirming interest.  If a girl doesn’t hear back within this time, her odds of a next date are slim.  Picking up the phone is a complete passé protocol.  Question:  do you feel that this sets up a deep seated (justifiably) resentment of women toward men?
  2. Ghosting is the current term for guys that no longer want to pursue a relationship, even after several dates with a woman.  Is chivalry that dead?  Or, even more bluntly put, are relationships that undervalued?  Question:  do you feel that women that feel undervalued will eventually turn the tables in the future?
  3. In a recent British poll, 62 percent of men said that they turn down sex more than their partners do. This is symptomatic of women that have become more aggressive toward “one night stands” and who only want “boy toys” similar to men’s attitudes in the past.  Question:  What does this do with regards to the attitude of men toward woman and what values they represent?
  4. In major cities, unmarried young women out earn young men by a median of 8 percent.  The catch—Researches at the University of Chicago found that in these cases, there is a much larger incidence of divorce. Some of these divorces are prompted by the frustration of the man not being the major “breadwinner” but this is only symptomatic of the deeper root cause, where the woman is simply fed up with the man’s attitudes and no longer needs or wants him.  Question:  do you agree?
  5. In Asia, Africa, and Latin America, there is a rising rate of divorce, as women are abandoning men to better their careers and perhaps personal lives as well. Laws are softening to allow women to do this, whereas in the past they were more-or-less indentured into marriage.  Question:  Why do you believe that women are taking this course of action?  Could it be that they are tired of being treated as true partners?
  6. Time Magazine did a recent survey of people born from 1957 to 1964 which shows that a bachelor’s degree not only increases the likelihood of marriage, but it also lowers the risk of divorce. The well-educated tend to marry later, so their apt to be more mature and financially stable.  The median income of a college grad is 116 percent more than someone with a high school diploma.  There are multiple reasons for why college grad marriages are preserved, not all of which are related to love, such as there is more at stake to lose.  However, there are also higher-evolved relationships where partnering is at multiple levels of business, charity, family, trust, respect and love.  I would also offer that males who marry very early in live haven’t evolved nearly as much as post-college grads who are established in their careers.  In fact, if “thirty is the new twenty-one” then this means the males focus on career and having fun is a higher priority than settling down, as a rule.

Dating for Life is a methodology based upon treating anyone whom you associate with in a respectful manner.  The Greek origin of the word “date” is didonal which means “to give.”  The onus is on anyone who invites someone else out on a date to show them a good time.  Treat life as a date and eventually a mutually respectful relationship will evolve, whether it be in business, friendship, or romance.  The FOUR KEYS of Dating for Life show you the way.  Chivalry needs to be resurrected, and cannot be replaced by technology.

  • The only purpose of Texting is to communicate time-sensitive information.
  • The only purpose of dating sites should be to filter out those people that don’t fit within either male or female’s horizons.
  • Lose the PDA and get to know someone whenever you go out on a date.

People matter.

Romance matters.

Both require cultivation.